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Phil Perry

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Phil Perry last won the day on September 18

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About Phil Perry

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    Cannock, Staffordshire, England

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  1. Here's that Carling beer commercial I couldn't find following the dambusters one from months ago. . .
  2. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    "We're going to have to switch off your wife's life support," said the doc, "she's in a vegan state." "Don't you mean vegetative?" I asked. "No, vegan," he replied, "if it was vegetative there'd at least be some hope."
  3. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    I saw this bloke fall out of the church tower today. I thought it was the vicar at first. Then I realised. . . . it was just a dead ringer.
  4. My most reliable car when in Australia was my VW Beetle. Had it 3 years, never went wrong. Worst ? ? The Ubiquitous Hillman Imp. There exists insufficient opprobrium on the planet to pile onto that $hyte can.
  5. The 'Naming' thing was started by my two girly kids when they were tots Nev. . .. since then, they've named every vehicle we've owned. . . They even named my Gemini Flash 2 Weightshift 'Harry' . . . this puzzled me for a while. then they said 'FLASH HARRY' and collapsed into fits of girly giggles. . .( ? ) Where they got this innate Lunacy from. . .I have no idea.
  6. Following on from my story about buying an El-Cheapo Banger for small Daughter, AND FINDING THAT she had bought a car herself the same day. . . ( Suzuki Splash) I had purchased a 'Trade In' 2010 Ford Fiesta Zetec. . .1.4 litre 16V DOHC car,. . only 6 years old. . .for £450 Quid. ( from a Friendly dealer person whom I had introduced to aviation some years back. . . and who is now a qualified pilot with his own Evektor Eurostar ) I've researched the service history on this thing. . it has 109K Miles on the frame, but had a 'Dealer replaced' Brand New Engine only 3K miles back. . .So I now have a Ford Fiesta Zetec, with a Virgin ( almost ) powerplant and it goes like $hit off a greasy shovel. ( Not that an old fart like me is going to race young bucks off the traffic lights. . .) The only two faults that I've found are that the Passenger side Mirror doesn't retract when the car is powered down. . .and that the front Fog lamps don't work.. . . . I've decided to keep it for my own use and dump the Vauxhall ( GM ) Astra estate. . .which is coming up to it's MOT in 2 months and has five advisories to it's name from the last permit to fly and is likely to fail. . .as it's a 2004 model. . . and I've bashed oit to bits to be fair. . Just thinking of calling it 'Black Betty' ( Bamba Lam ) . . .any other suggestions ? ?
  7. ( I really can't be Ar$ed paragraphing this facebook post. . . ED ) "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?" "Please, Father! I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Four months vacation and five good leads..."
  8. When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle she was instantly attracted to him & during her questions to him about his life she aked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex" he replied.. Jane explained to him what it was. Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground. "Here." she said, pointing to her privates. "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her right in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What the bloody hell did you do that for?!" He replied, "Tarzan check for squirrel."
  9. Everything the noble lord (!) said, is already out in the public domain Willie. . .but 'Other' noble lords are stating that he is in breach of the OSA and should be visited by the police. It may well be in the public domain, but none of our media will mention it. When a serving Deputy Prime Minister ( Nick Clegg ) in the David Cameron cabinet lies to the public by calling the idea of an 'EU Army' a Dangerous 'FANTASY' when it was actually happening with their knowledge, then who can we believe . .( rhet )
  10. Been watching a few of Chris and Scott Hendry's flying around series,. . . but since I have not flown over the same areas since the mid to late 1970s, I can't remember what it looked like back then for a comparison. . . I watched a few last evening, and both Chris and Scott remarked several times how green it looked, even the Simpson Desert ! ! ! I think those particular vids were from late 2016 . . .
  11. Phil Perry

    Quickies part 2

    Hint :. . .the single letter 'S' is silent. ( Similat to the silent 'K' in RHUBARB )
  12. DISGUSTING !! -- on so many fronts. The plans which are already agreed in the EU PLUS some well known British Scumbags, in the event that the UK does NOT achieve a clean break from the EU. https://www.ukcolumn.org/ar...
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