Question How can you respect women who ...

old man emu

Well-Known Member
#5
I'm being serious. How many blokes have had their names dragged through the mud by women with these sorts of attitudes. You can't compliment a woman on the effort she has made to look like something more than a pig's ear without being labelled a sex fiend. Go through a door before a woman and she'll call you for everything, but open it for her and she'll soon tell you that she is capable of opening a door for herself.

While I believe that every person should be shown courtesy and given equality, but women seem to have swung the equality pendulum way past the centreline. They haven't learned that to be granted equality, one must be prepared to give equality.

OME
 

Marty_d

Well-Known Member
#6
Sounds like you're trying to understand the female thought process, OME. There be dangerous waters.

Just think of it this way - dogs are men in little fur coats, and cats are women in little fur coats. Ever seen a dog that truly understood a cat?
 

nomadpete

Well-Known Member
#7
I'm with OME.
I have been very cautious when greeting a woman (especially in the workplace) because it is no longer acceptable to say "Good morning ...... You're looking great today". To do so puts one at risk of a rude rebuke or even a threat of sexual harassment. It doesn't help at all to tell me that 'not all women are like that... It only makes it worse. If a woman has put special effort into looking good, (and wants to be acknowledged) but nobody notices, it could harm the working relationship. And maybe she goes home depressed.

Same goes for offering to help a female when they obviously need a hand with something. If I offer to help the feminist type, I can expect an unkind response, but if she was (dare I say normal?), really wanting a bit of assistance, I would be branded inconsiderate.

The new rules do not change the problems of harassment or discrimination, they only change the way it is perpetrated.

Seems to me that the whole 'discrimination' & 'harassment' thing has gone too far.
 

old man emu

Well-Known Member
#8
This attitude amongst women is used too frequently in advertising. Have you noticed the number of ads where men are portrayed as incompetent fools, while the women in them are shown as so smug? I find this to be most offensive. However, let a man tell a 'blonde' joke and he's immediately labelled a misogynist.

Have you ever considered how many harmless insects, arachnids, reptiles and mammals have been killed to stop the shrieking of a woman?
 

Bruce

Well-Known Member
#11
It really was OME, on the road going past Parafield airport.And the car was being driven by a woman. I dunno where she got it from.
 

octave

Well-Known Member
#14
If a woman has put special effort into looking good, (and wants to be acknowledged)
The big assumption here is that a woman dresses up in order to be acknowledged. As a man when I do it, I do not do it so that people can comment or express their approval. It may be hard to believe but perhaps a young woman is not impressed by a crusty old guy passing judgment on the quality of her genetic material perhaps combined with her skill with the use of cosmetics and perhaps her exercise regime. The idea that if someone compliments you, you must show a sufficient level of gratitude seems a little odd. There is a world of difference between good friends and people whose relationship is more formal. If a woman is dressing to impress it is a little presumptuous to believe it is to impress you.

I don't feel particularly comfortable with someone I am not good friends with passing judgement on how I look and I would suspect that most men would not either.

I can't ever recall a time when a woman has been rude or told me off because of an interaction I have had with her (an I work with loads of women). The problem is some guys (especially older guys) are not very good at empathising or reading people. Yes, I would tell my wife I like her new haircut or a close friend I like their new suit but I would not tell the waitress in the cafe that she looks good today unless I am invited to comment and I would not expect her to pass judgment on my appearance.

I think another issue is that women or girls very early in life realise that they are of some interest to men and I suspect that especially younger girls do not know what to do with this, of course, it can be flattering but then there is also the problem that men are bad at interpreting signals and tend to think that friendliness may mean something more.

Now I am standing by for criticism and that is fine but here is the thing, I could be wrong and you guys could be right but it seems pretty clear that some of you are having trouble coping with cultural change (every generation has to cope with change), It also seems that you guys are a little bitter and unhappy. Whilst I could be wrong at least I am happy and the older I get the happier I get. I have many female friends who are all intelligent and strong women (as I can make highly sexual comments because we know each other well) and I work with many similar women. If at my place of work I stood around discussing peoples appearances I suspect I would be judged to be shallow and foolish, we have better things to talk about.
 

nomadpete

Well-Known Member
#15
Well, Octave, I think you are making some assumptions.
I didn't suggest that a recipient of a compliment should express gratitude. Far from it. But I would like to see courtesy, balance and open , friendly communication.
I also didn't suggest that our workplace had groups of men standing around discussing people's appearances (but I have heard groups of women doing just that).
It is not unusual for people to comment on appearance when they greet each other ...'Hi Fred, looking well today. New suit?'
Or if Fred is a closer friend ... 'Hi Fred, you're all dressed up like a pox doctor's clerk, must be your anniversary!!'.
Obviously any remark must be made at a level to suit the personalities and the circumstances. My workplace was large and contained all personalities, from the elegant right down to the knuckle draggers. Personally, I have only rarely had a problem. But when it has happened, it makes me extra cautious because I don't want to upset anybody.

My observation is that there are more touchy people around than there used to be, and nowadays it only takes one complaint to jeapordise one's job. I have met a couple of people who have used the system unfairly.
 

octave

Well-Known Member
#16
You're looking great today". To do so puts one at risk of a rude rebuke or even a threat of sexual harassment. It doesn't help at all to tell me that 'not all women are like that... It only makes it worse. If a woman has put special effort into looking good, (and wants to be acknowledged) but nobody notices, it could harm the working relationship. And maybe she goes home depressed.
My wife just home from work read this over my shoulder and was highly amused, apparently no one told her at work that she looked good today. and now she is all depressed but seriously, do you not you really believe that you not paying a compliment will cause a woman or man to be depressed? Do you think if you paid them a compliment for the quality of their work the outcome may be different?
 

nomadpete

Well-Known Member
#17
If one person ignores a colleague's efforts, it doesn't matter. If everybody holds back, it can impact on a person's self esteem.
Life gets a bit lame if all our talking is restricted to making professional judgement. There is usually a mix of work talk and social discourse. It's nice to think that your colleagues care about your well being, and that can include observations about appearance.
As I said, I've encountered a small number of women who were using the new discrimination rules to their own advantage. Having been close to the these situations has highlighted the risk to one's employment, that can originate from a simple innocent pleasant remark. Or even a polite, valid attempt to get some productivity out of the individual.
Other times, I opened a door for a woman, and got a sneering belittling remark for thanks. No, I didn't expect gratitude, but an insult makes me think twice before opening a door for a female. But I still open a door for a bloke if his hands are full.
 

old man emu

Well-Known Member
#18
Octave,

I might not have a plane that I built, but I have a very good looking motorcycle that I spent many hours getting into that condition. When people say "Nice bike," I take it as a compliment and say "Thank you".

Perhaps that's a problem in the workplace. Nobody acknowledges the good job a person has done. It's another example of that insidious part of the American way of life. If you let it be known that someone has done a good job, you could be replaced by them. Better to keep them down to destroy the competition.
 

octave

Well-Known Member
#19
Octave,

I might not have a plane that I built, but I have a very good looking motorcycle that I spent many hours getting into that condition. When people say "Nice bike," I take it as a compliment and say "Thank you".

Perhaps that's a problem in the workplace. Nobody acknowledges the good job a person has done. It's another example of that insidious part of the American way of life. If you let it be known that someone has done a good job, you could be replaced by them. Better to keep them down to destroy the competition.
"Nobody acknowledges the good job a person has done". I don't think we are talking about praising achievement.

OME your bike is an achievement, you worked hard to build it. It is not the same as saying "you look good" Saying nice bike is not like to say nice hair do or pretty face. Look I am not totally against anyone making personal comments in the workplace but I don't see that it is rocket science to understand that your compliment may be received well or it may not. Just because some crusty old man thinks a young woman looks good. and feels he must share this thought with her does not mean he is entitled to gratitude. As I have said previously I have for many years worked mainly with intelligent young women and although I like to joke around I have never had anyone complain about anything I have said and I am not paranoid that I will get into trouble for anything I do or say. I do compliment the women I work with but for their skill and talent or kindness. Sure tell someone you think they look good but do not expect anything in return.
 

facthunter

Well-Known Member
#20
Trying to "chat up" someone is SO corny. Makes the person doing it look stupid and I can't imagine that approach would go far. I just hope women don't judge all men by some of them. They do have more pressure on them than a man to "look GOOD" which would cost quite a sum and take time.. It's probably overdone. Most "stylish" haircuts and overdone eyeshadow make them look like depersonalised shop front mannequins.(All the same as each other) I'd like them to show a bit of confidence and defy the trend and just be able to be them selves. Nev
 
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