Since radio stations decided to pull “Baby it’s Cold Outside” from their playlists because someone was offended, I feel that these other holiday songs must also be removed as they are offensive as well. Do so immediately.
1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: subjecting minors to soft-core porn and cheating on daddy.
2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation
3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances
4. White Christmas? Racist
5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker
6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression
7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben
9. Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail, hooker
10. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman
11. Do You Hear What I Hear: blatant disregard for the hearing impaired
12. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow
13. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: animal abuse
14. Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two? How did this song ever see the light of day?
15. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married…forced partnership
16. The Hanukkah song- I'm not Jewish, don't force your religion on others.
17. Grandma got run over by a reindeer- promotes a hit and run..also I don't want my kid to think there's no such person. . .
18. Six White Boomers: Animal abuse - Six white boomers, snow white boomers, Racing Santa Claus through the blazing sun.
19. Six White Boomers: Paedophilia - Come up on my lap here, son, and have a look around.'
20. Dashing through the Bush: Dangerous driving, unroadworthy vehicle, unrestrained animal in cabin
It's called self pleasuring, Phil thy wordsmith. Like when you treat yourself to a good scotch . Though perhaps THAT is abuse. Red's our village wit and not every village has one of those.. Compliments of the season all you frustrated ICARUS, Biggles and Top Gun types. FLY safe and fly often... Nev