Quickies part 2

Phil Perry

Well-Known Member
A friend, on trying to read the menu in a cafe,. . . once asked a French waitress,

“qu’est-ce qui c’est Le Special du Jour?”

To which she replied, ( in perfect English, ). . . .

“it means. . ' today’s special Sir. . .'.

Ya gotta LOVE English folk when they travel outside of Engerland. . . The very LAST item in their baggage,. . is a Phrase book,

ALWAYS expecting those in Non English speaking Countries to understand them if they speak English S L O W L Y . . ..
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Phil Perry

Well-Known Member
Phrase book?
C'mon Phil ! Don't you know about Google Translate?
Most people of my vintage mate,. . Don't own a 'Smartypants Phone,. . .very few use a computer and a lot of Them have no idea of how to do anything with it,. . unless they did Metalwork at school. . .(!) I do not need this facility, as I Already speak some German. Spanish, French, Clogger, Russian and Turkish. . .along with some insults in Farsi, Arabic, Hindi, Gujurati and Japanese. . . .Though I guess that a Translator 'APP' might save some trouble if I was in Brazil, and tried to order a breakfast and got Oysters Copacobana with Braised Squid and Lemon Ice Cream. .


Well-Known Member
A Phrase book" with phononetic pronunciations is very effective at getting your message across but sometimes it's SO good "they" think you can actually speak "Language x", well . and you then have to explain that you don't speak it well. just a "little" here and there.. Word to word translation without contextual relevance can cause mirth (and derision) as well. Nev

old man emu

Well-Known Member
I found that when trying to communicate with people who were unable to speak (mutes) that communicating by writing was successful, if the people were English speakers.

If you wanted to converse with someone who did not speak English, you could revert to using pictographs.


Well-Known Member
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60
And heading towards
70 or beyond!

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now will never wear out.

You can eat supper at 4 PM.

You can live without sex but not your glasses.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks
into the room.

You sing along with elevator music.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends , because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

You can't remember who sent you this list.

Forward this to everyone
you can remember
Right now!


Under any circumstances,

Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on

The same night


Well-Known Member
LOVE that last remark.
Under any circumstances,

Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on
The same night
! "
A bit worried about taking a
Any time after lunch !. LoL
No need of the sleeping pills, I nod off any time after lunch.
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and
said, "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a
sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep
every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a £500,000
home, a £35,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm
sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not
holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she
would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house,
driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black
and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.
The following is a short text exchange between an Airline Captain and his Wife,. . .as he was travelling home by train, from a gruelling four day job.

Pilot . . . 11.53. . . ETA Base @ - 12 49.

Wife . . . ."Roger - report Bishops Stortford". .

Pilot:. . . ."Wilco"
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