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Phil Perry

An Interesting video about understanding Women

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Not so! I've never hated women. And, just to balance my comments above, I also apply that observation about 'love' to myself. Without the instinct to breed, we wouldn't be here. And if it wasn't for that instinct driving us to breed with a partner that is intrinsically different from ourself, the race would become too inbred. There is a requirement to seek out genetic diversity within a species. It's all about survival of the species.

There is no survival imperative that involves getting along with a mate once the mating is done. So we assume that "love is blind'. Luckily we can use our intelligence to find a mate that is psychologically compatible.

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Whoever thinks they can understand Women, except other women, is deluding themselves. Love women, dont understand them, but still love the one I married.

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". Love women, dont understand them, but still love the one I married."

Agreed on that score.

57 year's and four daughter's .

I'm a glutton for punishment. LoL

spacesailor

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That's as good as it gets (in the nicest possible way).

 

Harmony is very underrated in relationships.

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You have to work at it and the next one might nor even be as good and you are a lot poorer.. Nev

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If one chooses well, one doesn't have to work hard at all. But that doesn't let one ignore compassion, empathy or the occasional compromise.

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Good sales pitch. To choose well you have to be of sound mind at the time,. and just what is this OCCASIONAL compromise? Few of my friends have a set up I'd want. It's asking a lot to be together for fifty plus years, when people DO change "sometimes". Nev

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No. Not a sales pitch, my cynical friend.

 

I get what you say about 'sound mind'.

Granted, Passionate love of the type that people 'fall into', is so decribed because it implies an accidental, perhaps illogical, unforseen event.

I agree that that is bordering on a psychosis. And generally short lived. Most people eventually wake up one morning wondering 'what happened?'

 

I'm just trying to work out how I've found myself in a harmonious relationship. Especially after previously suffering through difficult relationships that failed in spite of all the 'hard work's that you mentioned.

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I guess there are two basic schools of thought about relationships.

 

1 - "Don't change horses halfway through the race"

I used to believe in this. Now I only agree with that from a financial perspective. It might succeed if the couple have unrealistic expectations and just need to learn more interpersonal skills. (And nobody wants to admit that either)

 

2 - "You can't flog a dead horse".

I've adopted that one after trying the first method without success. There are times when "working harder" on a relationship is simply a waste of time and energy. That's when a rational decision to move on must be made.

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There is a great cartoon showing a pair of skeletons, covered with cobwebs, sitting at a table with empty beer bottles, and a sign which says " we are going to sit here and drink beer until we understand women "

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I actually NEVER used the word HARD in "working at it.". Doing nothing is talking it all for granted.. Some effort would be a quantum leap in some cases... More than 1/2 marriages fail. As a realist (hopefully) I don't find that surprising, but it's very damaging to many when it happens and staying together at times is not an option. but perhaps in many it "could" be saved... Nev

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And in other cases should never be "saved"

In some cases, it would be silly to "save" something toxic and damaging to individuals

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There is a great cartoon showing a pair of skeletons, covered with cobwebs, sitting at a table with empty beer bottles, and a sign which says " we are going to sit here and drink beer until we understand women "

84B8508E-4775-4957-A559-77ACF025DDAF.thumb.jpeg.6901200b76de4781f223ebf41c5a6d6d.jpeg

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I chose my wife very carefully, even though she was a little slow at times.

It took her a full 23yrs to move 900km away and re-marry, and I now get frequent phone calls seeking advice on something.

Google could be very helpful when she discovers it.

 

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I thought you said: "I chose my wife very carefully, "

And only lasted 23 years !.

Try 57 And still counting .

THAT'S good choosing !.

(or dumb Luck ) LoL

spacesailor

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Posted (edited)

Yea spacey, but I have since been in a wonderful relationship for 28+yrs.

She has her place and I have mine= lasting happiness.

Best of both worlds arrangement.

So you see mate, some of us do learn from experience :thumb up:

Edited by planedriver

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